We've all seen it happen. A neighboring church is going through a crisis. It could be financial challenges, moral failure, theological conflict...you name it. When this occurs in another church, it's easy to smugly sit back, shake our heads, watch the hemorrhaging, speak a few religious condescending words about the pastor, and warmly consider the people who might be in your pews over the next few weeks who are attempting to escape the pain. Is it church growth?? Yes...but at the expense of a bleeding church.
I was reminded of an incident today as I was attending the Midwest Minister's Fellowship meeting in Kansas City. (I regularly participate with this group of pastors and churches as it's a source of connection and encouragement.) Today, our guest was Francis Frangipane, and as he spoke, this incident that happened about 3-4 years ago, came racing back into my memory.
Several years ago, when I took the pastorate of CFC, I had quite a few individuals come to me, sharing with me how we were so fortunate to have been the recipients of a large number of people from another church in the area that went through a triple dose of pain...a church fire, moral failure, and theological challenges. It was told to me on various occasions that the people who "came over" from the other church were invited to come to CFC as a "safe place" from the pain. These conversations were marked by grieving, disparaging looks, and frankly, some biting criticism of the other church's leadership. Since I had heard this from several individuals, including staff members, I felt quite confident that it was a fairly accurate story...but I never could place the church that had lost the people, because they had since changed their name.
As time went by, I began getting to know the other pastors in town through our Pastor's Prayer Alliance. One morning, as we were meeting at one of the local churches, the Senior Pastor began sharing his story of what his church had gone through. Immediately, I knew it! THAT was the church. THIS GUY was the pastor. I had HIS SHEEP in my church. (He had served on the staff for many years, and was now serving as the Senior Pastor.)
I felt conflict in my heart as I began to piece together the stories I had heard, his story and my emotions. I thought, "now that I know who HE is, do I just ignore it and move on...basically thinking, his loss, my gain?" I couldn't. God wouldn't let me.
I did something very scary after he shared his story. When the floor opened up for prayer, I was one of the first to go to the microphone. I stood there in front of my "senior pastor peers" and began to publicly repent for allowing my church to savor the pain and reap the benefits of my brother's hemorrhaging church. We cried. We embraced. We became friends.
He sat down with me and began asking about family after family, couple after couple, wondering how they were doing. I updated him on his people and pledged to him that I would never entertain another negative story about his church. In fact, it was at that point when I made a new commitment to my congregation: "I will not entertain nor will I participate in any gossip about another church or pastor."
That day, I was set free. That day, my church broke through into a new spiritual realm. That day, the wound on my pastor friend received some much needed healing. That day, I believe, heaven rejoiced and God poured a little more blessing on Saint Joseph, Missouri.
Ministers, what are we doing to bring healing to the church of Jesus Christ in our communities? Think about it!
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Addendum 6.23.05: Check out Monday Morning Insight for lots of discussion and comments on this article.
Monday, June 20, 2005
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1 comments:
After you said, "I couldn't ...God would let me," I said, "AMEN!"
But I didn't agree w/ you sharing the families' updated information w/ their former pastor, without first asking for permission from the families. Especially since you had previously mentioned gossip about the church from several families, and now upon reconciliation, felt the need to reconcile them and their former pastor without their consent.
Also, maybe instead of reconciling with the Pastor on stage and in front of everybody, you could have done so in private. Public may have been embarrassing, or even humiliating for the hurt Pastor, thus putting him on the spot.
In terms of the "stolen sheep", the church could have agreed to invite the Pastor over one weekend for a brunch or social gathering, but only with the congregation's approval...the families obviously left for a reason, regardless of what the church was enduring. If the parishoners wanted the Pastor of their old church to know where they were and how they were doing, they would have let him know. It is possible they did not want him to know.
So reconciling with the other Pastor was good. But in terms of the congregation, Pastoral Care and counseling may be needed before any talk of them returning to their old church, or even feeling comfortable with any contact from their former pastor, is achieved.
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